i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
