Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
