Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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