when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
