she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
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You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
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I was totally pumped and so was my beard
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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