Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
