I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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