dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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