oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
only you would photoshop your dick
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
