dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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