You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
