I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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