You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
