sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
