you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I touched a dick in church today
My bed smells like the plague
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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