There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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