K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just want to make out with him forever
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Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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