Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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