you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Dick very happy bro
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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