So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he fucked my hip out of place.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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