it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
