just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
