wat bout pragnant strippers??
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
