he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
