its not stalking. its research.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Congratulations! We have a period
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
