No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize