hell yes lets make some ravioli
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
