i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
