There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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