If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
