i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize