So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
