The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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