Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
