Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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