you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's official drugs can't kill me
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
