I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
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But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
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