watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
