where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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