I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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