So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize