He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You ate ashes out of my bong
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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