ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
