I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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