Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Randomize
