I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
