Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
