How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
