I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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