Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
