id be glad to
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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