fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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