I like my sex mixed with concussions.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
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I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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