omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
