Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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