Hey man sorry I got all grabby
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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