And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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