Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
