It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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