i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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