I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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