it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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