pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
