Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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