I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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