Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
