dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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