We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
