ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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